Atelophobia and blogger’s remorse is enough to make me tease the delete button regularly. Just like everyone else, I am a victim of emotions and the fear of stagnancy. Comes with the territory I suppose.
So I walked outside. The garden was still wet with morning, sky still silent, save the cicadas. It’s a goddamn jungle. Pulling weeds back there is as futile as stopping my self-deprecation.
With all that bad there is good and, much to pessimists’ dismay, I like to think that it all balances out. Like a toothache from a sugar glaze, heartburn from crushed red pepper pizza and beer + shot combos, or morning heartbreak after euphoric embraces.
Sometimes I feel guilty for being grateful for the unfortunate experiences in my life. Sometimes I think it makes me a horrible person to find the bright side to the bad stuff.
“Beauty means the scent of roses and then the death of roses.”
Maybe you recognize this guy? He survived being pummeled with snow while crookedly suspended 40 feet in the air off my balcony at my old apartment.
Now look at him go.
You have to start somewhere, and I figured a sponge was as good a place as any.
1. Fork together in bowl.
2. Ferment at room temp for half an hour.
3. Rest in fridge overnight.
While the sponge comes to life, you can kill some fruit.
1 pound apricots, pitted and chopped
2 pounds sugar
5.75 oz all-purpose flour
1.5 tsp instant yeast
1/2 oz milk powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 oz sugar
2 tsp vanilla
4 tbs butter, room temp
1. Dump sponge in mixing bowl, followed by all other ingredients except the butter.
2. Mix on medium speed with dough hook, scraping sides periodically, for 10 minutes.
3. Add butter, one tablespoon at a time.
4. Place dough in lightly oiled bowl, cover, and let rest in a warm spot for an hour.
5. Roll dough on a floured surface to about 1/4″
6. Cut with cookie cutter until left with scraps, which you can also save for frying.
7. Cover with plastic wrap and rest for an hour.
8. Bring oil to 370 degrees Fahrenheit and fry about 30 seconds on each side.
9. Scrap dough can be rolled into balls and fried as pseudo doughnut holes.
Don’t bake doughnuts. That’s like drinking non-alcoholic beer. Dumb.
But feel free to cook the pseudo doughnut holes in a takoyaki pan.
1/4 – 1/2 C milk
2 C confectioner’s sugar, sifted
Leaves and flowers of lavender
1. Warm milk.
2. Whisk in sugar.
3. Steep lavender for 10 minutes.
While the glaze steeps, stab a small hole in the sides of the cooled doughnuts and fill with apricot jam using a small piping tip and pastry bag.
Strain glaze and pour over doughnuts.